I had such good intentions of writing everyday and logging each moment spent with the girls. The reality is, with two teens in a small house, and not a whole lot to do, computer time has to be rationed. I’m finally getting my turn after 10:00 p.m. Latvia time.
So here are some highlights.
Boiling Over
Monday, May 16th was our thirtieth anniversary, and the girls made dinner for us. It was bar none the best and most memorable anniversary celebration we’ve ever had. We all sat at our small table, Agnese in her robe because she was getting ready to go out later, and we talked and laughed and had a great time.
This was also the evening Marite, the orphanage director, decided to drop by for tea. Marite, a social worker, and the judge will all be making visits to see how we’re doing. Monday was the day I had sort of hit a wall with adjusting to the culture, the overwhelming release of emotion I was feeling at finally being with the girls, stressing over appropriate Latvian etiquette, and simply general overload.
Marite came just as the girls were making dinner, the potatoes were boiling over, and they were arguing with each other. She flew into the kitchen to help, and I stood by horrified that this was the moment she had arrived. I mouthed to David, “Perfect.” Then we all sat down for tea, coffee, and cookies.
The three of them chatted away in Latvian. Baiba tried to get Marite to convince me to buy the five inch heels she wanted, and Agnese showed her the dress she had gotten for her big
upcoming 9th grade party. As I smiled and nodded, I sat fretting about whether this was the time I was supposed to give Marite the gift we brought for her or not.
After she left, we had our lovely dinner, and David pointed out that Marite had indeed arrived at the perfect moment. The girls were being completely themselves, no pretense, and no stress. She knows them better than we do, and she had seen exactly what she’d hoped to.
Shopping, Running, Bonding, and Humpala
What better way for females to bond than shopping? Both girls have had big occasions coming up at the end of the school year. These occasions required pretty clothes, so off we went to the stores.
It’s been fun to see what kind of taste they have in clothing. Unfortunately for our bank account they are not the orphan waifs one might think of in these situations, content with whatever meager hand me down might come their way. Baiba calls undesirable clothing, “humpala” (hoom-pa-la). Which I learned was a term for secondhand items.
All of our adoption training assured us that they would probably not even be certain of their sizes, let alone have any real sense of fashion. By the way, ninety percent of our adoption training had nothing to do with teens, and they obviously never met Baiba and Agnese.
These girls know what they like, and although politely mindful of how much things cost, they like to look quite sophisticated and grownup—sometimes too grownup in my opinion. But you have to choose your battles carefully.
I would be curious to know how many fellow moms out there have agreed to something in the store, as a result of sheer fatigue, and once home see the item on your little girl and shudder. I can’t help but think back to my teenage years with Sizzle Skirts and low cut hip huggers. Sorry, mom.
Baiba especially wants to grow up fast fashion-wise. Today she was all decked out in her leggings, heels (no, I didn’t get the five inch ones), and animal print top. She has a new haircut that looks adorable, and she applies her makeup very nicely—not too overdone. She looked every inch a model, until at lunch she speared a large round piece of meat with her fork and gnawed around the edges like a little girl. She is very much in that bridge time. She wants to wear tall womanly heels and run to the skate park to play.
All the consternation aside, shopping has been a great way to bond with the two of them. I decided to buy a pair of shoes for myself while we were out, and their eyes lit up like Christmas trees. They were so excited that I was joining in the fun. Then they were very concerned that David was the only one that didn’t get new shoes.
When we got home they asked if I wanted to go for a run with them. I agreed, prefacing it with the fact that it’s been a long time since I’ve gone for a run, and they’d need to go easy on me. I didn’t clarify that “a long time” meant since I was about ten.
They were so sweet jogging along side of me. Baiba who could have run twenty circles around me, paced herself to stay right by my side. Agnese would run ahead and then loop back. She kept her eyes trained on me the whole time. I think she was worried that I would fall over or pass out or something. The best part was the cool down. We walked around the neighborhood, and had a great heart-to-heart about many things. My sore legs the next two days were well worth it.
Have I mentioned that I love these girls?
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